umm. so i've been going doing a lot better when it comes to going out and relieving stress without going completely ape shit on my friends and family. but then i realize that apparently, tha game as changed in tha last ...i dunno. year or so. EVERY single guy that i end up exchanging numbers with ends up getting NO play because they always wanna tell me, how they wanna eat my pussy. and you know what, i love oral pleasure just as much as tha next bitch. and i absolutely LOVE when a man is confident in his abilities and can re-enforce it by continuous strokes of his mouth muscle..BUT damn, nigga! you wanna at least know my NAME first. like seriously.
this one guy i met. he was cool. we talked about sneakers for about 2hrs. about vintage cops. new shit. future must-haves and such. we had soo much in common and he could speak clearly, he made me laugh...nigga. check. check. and CHECK! i was almost intrigued until out of nowhere this fooly lou gon start telling me how he wants to eat my pussy. and how he knows i taste so good and his technique and all this wild crazy shit. i'm like...YOOOO, nigga. chill. he's like you wanna feel my tongue all over that pussy, don't you? i'm like NO. wtf? then he started moaning...RANDOMLY. *click* bitch, i'on got time for that bull ass shit. nigga, if you horny, take yo' ratchet ass to tha mutherfucking titty bar, or buy a fucking hooker! i'm not with that shit.
then ANOTHER separate occassion this nigga...walks up to me! on tha motherfucking PUBLIC ass street and this bitch..says...i'll EAT your pussy. WHAAAAAT???!!! are you on coke??! you don't even know my name. you don't even know if my shit is eatable. you just walking up to a random bitch cuz she sexy as all shit, in a gotdamn sundress looking super lux &lavi...and tell her you wanna eat her pussy??! is that tha NEW shit? that doesn't turn me on. A) not every nigga know how to eat a good pussy. some niggas be walking around here ...licking tha WRONG spot. gotdamn...nigga, learn tha anatomy of tha fucking vagina so you'll know what to look for when you get down there. B) umm, if your motherfucking breath is gotdamn arching my fantabulously marvelous ass eyebrows..nigga, like when you talk to me ...i look at you like you asking me a dumb ass question...then nigga, i don't want you NASTY gingivitis ass mouth on my clean ass, flowersy ass, fresh ass, pussy nigga. is you CRAZY!?
i mean i'm an avid believer in "one must give, to receive" and shit..but nigga. that's something intimate that you need to share with a bitch you trust. a bitch you know A) be washing and cleaning and nurtures her gotdamn pussy and B) that's not going around letting another motherfucker buss her shit down and then she come back to yo' ass looking for a licky licky! If you walk up to me, telling me how you wanna eat my pussy ...i'mma just assume that's how you approach every female and i'll be able to smell tha syphilis on your breath nigga. did yall know bacteria from tha mouth, which is tha filthiest place on tha human body can translate to UTI and other yeasty bacteria of tha vagina. How that look, you going to tha doctor to get treated cuz some nasty ass, ghetto, gold grill having ass motherfucker ate your pussy and now you got a motherfucking PUSSY INFECTION!? how you look? stupid. and nasty. that's how tha fuck you look.
but anywho. i'm ranting. but that shit really dumb my ass out. cuz i really couldn't understand why these niggas was trying to eat my pussy, randomly. like i was supposed to just be like, yeah nigga! and jump on his face.